gastritis and colitis. Also, I had had a number of surgical
operations that had drained me of energy. Finally I
became diabetic, which in turn contributed to cirrhosis of
the liver and chronic infections of the bladder and
kidneys. It was a kidney infection that caused this
particular hospitalization, and subsequent treatments
with drugs and hormones resulted in agonizing physical
reactions and convulsions.
      My thoughts returned to the pain that engulfed me. I
prayed, "Lord, why has my life been filled with so much
suffering? Please let me die!" I couldn't escape the pain
even through sleep. I began to recall some vivid,
disturbing dreams that I had experienced the week
before I went to the hospital.
      In one dream, I am looking at a gray frame house.
Over the peeling exterior is a sign reading, THIS
BUILDING IS CONDEMNED. I feel sorry for the old
house and don't want it destroyed. Since it has a good
foundation, I think it just needs some repairs and a new
coat of white paint to restore it. To my right stands a
luminous angel. I ask him, "Can't someone fix this house
so it won't have to be torn down?" Lovingly he replies,
"Yes, but no one wants to do the job. It will be costly to
repair. If you volunteer to do it, it can be salvaged." I
agree to work on it.
      In the second dream, I am fishing from a little white
rowboat. I can't understand why I am not catching any
fish. Then I look over the side of the boat and see a lot of
rubbish in the water. I think, "No wonder I can't catch
any fish; the water is too dirty and there is too much
noise!" Behind me is anchored a yacht. On it are some
friends and relatives, having a loud party. They are
throwing their garbage overboard, polluting the lake. On
the shore, three men dressed in white suits approach.
One steps forward and says, "I am the Environmental
Protection Engineer. You must clean this lake!" I
protest, saying, "I didn't get the lake dirty. Those people
over there did it." I turn around, but the yacht is gone.
The inspector says, "You are the only person here, so
you must clean the mess." I ask, "What if I refuse?" He

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