do: I had learned to forgive and to love. She said that
now I could choose to stay on earth or to go with her. If I
chose to live, I could help my children along the spiritual
path. However, I would face much suffering; for the
many diseases and medications had caused almost
irreparable physical damage. But if I chose to stay, I
would be helped step by step toward ultimate healing. If
I chose death, I would not be blamed, for I had endured
so much pain. I wanted to go with my grandmother, but I
could not leave my children in the circumstances
predicted for them. I chose to stay. My grandmother
smiled as she faded from view.
      I floated for some time in a realm of visions. In one I
dreamed: I see the Christ seated on a hilltop with
millions of people of all religions coming to Him, each at
their own pace. I feel Christ's great love, patience and
compassion for each person. At one point I hear the
words, "And I, when I am lifted up, will draw all men
unto me." I also viewed many scenes and experienced
revelations that reshaped my understanding of God and
man.
      For the next three months I received almost constant
guidance to help me find healing. During this period I
was partially paralyzed, so I spent most of my time in
bed, often napping and dreaming. I experienced
nonsymbolic dreams that gave me explicit directions for
medication (drugs available in the house), vitamins, diet,
baths, etc. The dream information often came through a
voice giving me detailed instructions for the day's
activities. At other times, the instructions came from an
angelic figure or from my grandmother. For example,
one night my grandmother appeared in a dream and told
me to take one-half teaspoon of instant coffee crystals
three times a day after meals, followed by one-fourth cup
of water.
      Some nights I dreamed of sitting in classes listening to
lectures on healing, God, life, etc. Also there were rare
moments of indescribable bliss, when I dreamed of
kneeling before figures robed in white light. One time,
one of these beings laid his hands on my head, pouring

23