placed upon me as I stand at this threshold is to
surrender.
      I have found this to be an extremely difficult thing to
do. The difficulty is illustrated in the following dream:

     Outdoors I see a light in the sky. I am told that I must
turn my head away if the light is to descend upon me. I
am aware that I am dreaming. I bow my head. The
ground around me begins to be illuminated by the
brilliant orb. I begin to be afraid as it nears me. I look up,
and it withdraws into the sky. The process is repeated,
but I fail to overcome my fear. Then I awaken.

     Usually when I am desirous of the illuminatory
experience, I fail to realize that I am asking for a
supremely humbling encounter. This is easy to forget
when my thoughts are turned to the beauty and joy
offered in the experience. But as I stand at the
"threshing door," when all of my fears rise up to thwart
the imminent union, my faith usually proves inadequate.
This theme is repeated in the following dream:

     I enter a church and know that I am expected to speak.
The congregation is singing a hymn, #33, from a red
hymnal. While they go through the usual preliminary
exercises, I decide to go outside to gather myself. I am
worried and afraid because I don't know what I will say. I
sit down in the grass and suddenly come up with a topic
which feels right — "The Way of Surrender."
      At this point I look up in the eastern sky and see a
large white orb of light many tunes the size of the moon.
I realize that I am dreaming. I yell out in joy knowing it
is coming for me. As soon as I do the Light withdraws
into the sky as if it is awaiting a more appropriate
response on my part. I know that I must turn my eyes
away and trust. As I do, the Light descends. As the
Light approaches, a woman's voice says, "You've done
well reflecting this Light within yourself. But now it
must be turned outward."

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